About Lapses by Sue Mel

(Click for Lapses by Sue Mel)

            I don’t notice melodrama, or it doesn’t bother me, especially when I’m writing. Sometimes it just feels like those pauses and dashes are the only way to make the dialogue sound right. I get that. And I was happily clueless, until Sarah goes and points out how silly a lot of the dialogue in this story really sounds. It’s not just their conversation on the stoop, it’s just about any interaction between the three main characters. All those ellipses spell over the top, and I couldn’t stop hearing it, and I couldn’t stop it making the dialogue sound that much more fake. I do wonder though if I would have even noticed had Sarah just not said anything. Ah well.

            I wouldn’t even say that’s the main problem though. After we’ve established a healthy goal for DJ near the beginning, or at least the healthy idea (story-wise) that he’s got conflicting desires and maybe by the end of the story he’ll figure out exactly what it is he wants, he starts making choices with little apparent reason. He decides to go to the doctor suddenly when he was so unwilling before, finally he decides to be with Sarah, and in the end he decides not to stay with her. Of course I understood why someone in his position might make those choices, but I didn’t come away understanding why he did.

            So, no. I didn’t really like this one. What’s more, I think it may have ruined my melodramaless bliss. Maybe that’s a good thing?